Rabbit
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Post by Rabbit on Jun 14, 2013 9:39:25 GMT
To save me writing loads of messages, I know that quite a few of you were aware of my Mum and recent stuff where she was becoming very frail so she moved into a new flat, closer to relatives.
Would you believe it? Three days in flat, delighted with area, I took her out for a meal, sister went shopping with her and then she collapsed with a stroke.
Been bad for two days in hospital. Lost feeling down one side and unable to speak properly. Still recognised everyone and continued trying to speak two days ago.
I sat with her yesterday, all day she was out of it and slept after further bleeding and she passed away last night.
So been quiet but very busy with Mum. Now for the onslaught of 'Happy Families' (which is a Complete joke)
One thing after another!!!!
Thanks for one's sent by people who knew what was going on.
Been with her all night and feel both gutted about her new flat and feel like I've been smacked by a hammer. No matter how old people are, you just don't expect them to leave you and it still comes as a shock.
Daughter is devastated and doesn't really understand.
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Javier
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Post by Javier on Jun 14, 2013 10:19:46 GMT
I'm so sorry for your terrible loss Ian, no matter how old or what condition they are in mums are one of the most important part of our lives. My dad is in the most advanced state of Alzheimer's now and it almost feels like we've lost him, he is physically there but... I spent some time with him yesterday and I returned home really sad. My mother recently broke her hip and had prosthetic surgery so she can't visit him as much as she wished.
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solderdude
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measureutternutter
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Post by solderdude on Jun 14, 2013 10:40:31 GMT
Sent a PM.
Lots of strength in the coming period !
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dicky
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Post by dicky on Jun 14, 2013 11:03:43 GMT
I'm so sorry to hear your terrible news, Ian.
I think I'll make some time to go and see my mum this weekend.
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juke
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Post by juke on Jun 14, 2013 12:42:59 GMT
I'm really sorry to hear of your Mum's passing Ian. I wish you strength to get through the next few days and weeks in all you'll have to deal with.
Best regards
Syd
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Rabbit
Administrator
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Post by Rabbit on Jun 14, 2013 13:06:38 GMT
Thank you. Chong, she was 89, Had a stroke. Yes, I really do feel as though I've been hit with a hammer. NTH, the last few months have been quite dreadful and now this!
It is best to make the most of Mum's while they are still around. I took her out for a meal on Sunday. My sister took her shopping on Tuesday and she had the stroke on Wednesday. Brain dead by yesterday and gone last night.
So fast, I didn't know what had hit me.
No matter how old you are, losing your Mum hits very hard.
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Rabbit
Administrator
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Post by Rabbit on Jun 14, 2013 13:57:52 GMT
Don't know Chong. With it comes the problem of a very dysfunctional family. My Mum kind of stabilised everyone, but now they are a collection of loose cannons each with their own agendas.
Once we get a death certificate (today or tomorrow) then funeral arrangements. Probably two weeks. Then the family will probably fragment, I guess.
I think the Chinese have more respect for their families, compared to here in UK; especially when big money is involved, all kinds of hell breaks loose.
It's a long story, but I know it will probably turn ugly. It even started last night with my Mum's body lying there. It was disgusting.
I stayed the night with her until she went cold. Meanwhile, fighting will start.
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Rabbit
Administrator
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Post by Rabbit on Jun 14, 2013 15:44:01 GMT
Exactly so Chong. However, in the UK, when money rears its ugly head as in 'inheritance', family name suddenly seems to mean very little!!
It is quite disgusting.
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Post by jhelms on Jun 14, 2013 16:12:02 GMT
Very sorry to here Ian - my condolences. I could only imagine the loss you are feeling. And yes, people can turn into... different people when things like this happen. My family is quite a mess too when it comes to these sorts of thing. I finally got to the point after watching them when my grandfather passed, that I had myself removed from any inheritance from my grandmother and father as I did not want to be a part of that aspect. The only satisfaction I get out of it, is none of them know that so they still keep thinking something is going on when I go see my grandmother often (she raised me) and take her to dinner and so forth. They always think there is some angle. Always asking her what we spoke about and such. I just shake my head as I cannot think in those ways.
Hang in buddy.
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Crispy
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Madrigal music is playing - Voices can faintly be heard, "Please leave this patient undisturbed."
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Post by Crispy on Jun 14, 2013 17:03:07 GMT
Ian, I am really sorry to hear about your Mother and you have my deepest sympathy.
I lost my Mother 6 years ago to cancer and I know what you are going through.
I have just had my YOUNGER brother in hospital for the last 4 weeks, last Thursday he had open heart surgery to replace a faulty valve and a by pass. The operation went OK and he is now back home, only one week recovery - unbelievable. He is 56 next month.
My dad is still doing really well at 83.
Ian, may your Mother rest in peace.
My Condolences
Chris
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gommer
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Post by gommer on Jun 14, 2013 18:27:32 GMT
Ian, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I share your sadness. In sympathy, Marc
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Post by drymdrum on Jun 14, 2013 21:04:26 GMT
A sad time Ian we all have a special place in our hearts for our MUM. My thoughts are with you and your family. Alan
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2013 21:04:33 GMT
Ian,
Please accept my condolences.
I lost my mum on 16th May last year so I know what you're going through.
After completely falling apart at her bedside immediately after she died, I thought I had hardened my heart to the fact of her passing. I was fine for the next two days, getting the death certificate, making funeral arrangements etc. Then when my sister and I went to choose her casket, looking at all those coffins, I just fell apart again and had to leave my sister to it, while I sat outside in the car.
So remember, when it comes to looking at caskets, to 'Psyche yourself up'.
Be strong,
Jeff
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Dave
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Post by Dave on Jun 15, 2013 17:22:02 GMT
Hi Ian, I've been at my daughter's the last couple of days, busy demolishing a garden shed and putting up a new one so I've missed this sad news until just now. Please accept my deepest condolences. I lost my mum in her 60s, younger than I am now, and very suddenly, shortly after she moved into sheltered accommodation, so I have some idea of what you're going through. The only advice I can offer is to ignore the forum for the time being (unless you need someone to 'talk to', in which case you know where we all are), and take care of yourself, your family and the funeral arrangements. You can choose your friends but not your family so try not to let any aggro that might develop add to your troubled mind at this time. Take care at this very difficult time and all the best, Dave.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2013 19:56:50 GMT
Hi Ian really sorry to read of your loss. take care Simon
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